Friday, 3 June 2011

Anxiety and inherent dilemmas

As a victim of anxiety we find ourselves unable to finish our sentences. Every social encounter becomes an evaluation of our speaking ability. We might spend the next hour cursing ourselves over what we did wrong in that situation. The view I argue against is that anxiety results from low self-esteem in oneself and persona. Instead I say that anxiety stems from an over-confidence in our inner perfectionist and the permanence of our passing relationships. We can approach feelings of anxiety head on by imagining ourselves in a conversation.

When we find yourself pausing amidst a conversation, let us consider the first thoughts that cross our minds: Is there something better I can say? Have I lost the attention of my audience?

In my view, anxiety is not a dilemma of whether something should be said. It is rather an argument of the mind, contemplating which tangent to continue the conversation on next. This debate within our minds drives us inward, away from the conversation and our audience. We end up sacrificing continuity in our conversations in hope for a now unattainable response from the audience.

The audience determines our propensity for anxiety. An unfortunate reality of our social interactions is that some friendships turn sour regardless of whether we want to maintain them. It may be especially unnerving for a victim of anxiety to see these friends slowly lose interest in their encounters and drift apart.

When this happens it is impossible to change the situation. Anxiety victims often fail to see that the resulting events can't be described causally. It is human nature to become bored of the common and move on to find something new. Even when realizing this, the victim is often shocked to find the interaction was not mutual. At this point many try even harder to maintain contact only to be eventually ignored. The anxiety victim maintains the belief that perfection is possible, and by presenting the right persona the audience might again show interest. All the while the problem deepens as conversations become an internal struggle.



Anxiety is something to be dealt with independently and uniquely. Trying to correct our mistakes is a natural process in social growth. However the fear of making mistakes should not deter us from finishing our thoughts in a conversation. It helps to come to the realization that all interactions are temporary. The only advice is not to have too much respect for your acquaintances nor try too hard to hold onto them. If an interaction is not mutual, make it mutual by bringing less to the table. If your audience has come to abandon you, find another audience.

15 comments:

  1. I like this blog so far. Following.

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  2. I hate giving presentations in front of people, i always start to become red and run out of breath quickly. Slowly i seem to be getting over that fear, stage fright, but it's only because i push myself through it. As you said, anxiety is something to be dealth with independently. Great blog!

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  3. Everything in life is temporary...

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  4. i don't really experience anxiety. only in the MOST nailbiting situations

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  5. Great post, love reading your posts, its really well written! Keep it up!

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  6. I don't get anxiety since I ever leave the house.

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  7. Nice post. It helped me be a little more confident with my anxiety now.

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  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. I suffer from a lot of anxiety
    I always wonder if I could have done things better

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